No more yanky my wanky, Donger need Food

This is part 1 of a series (of hopefully 1 part) about how I will re-vamp my fantasy baseball team to improve our chances and inspire our fan base. The M's are attempting the same feat by ridding themselves of the best outfield prospect in baseball in exchange for "Ace" pitcher Eric Bedard. We at "Real Men of Genius" HQ respect that, even if we don't agree with it. So here is our own recipe for success, starting with:

Part 1. New Team Name

The Early Candidates are:

1. The Mitchell Brothers

A. Need to draft Bonds, Tejada, Rocket, etc
B. Refers to a strip club, and that's kind of funny

2. Barack's Tales of Suspense

A. Love this team name
B. Refers to Barack Obama's suspenseful run to the presidency
C. Risk: might jinx Barak O's run to the presidency
D. Refers to "Brak's Tales of Suspense", a classic team name circa 1997
E. Risk #2 - Will only be funny to 2 people (on the planet)

3. Seven Pilings

A. Refers to the over / under of the TAP Blog writer's sexual conquests in 2008
B. Has a nautical ring to it
C. Risk 1: only funny to readers of TAP Blog (see 2-E above)
D. Risk 2: even then, not funny
E. I really should do a post just about pilings


4. No he's not Bedarded

A. Refers to "ace" pitcher Eric Bedard
B. Refers to "Grandpa" in Sixteen Candles describing his missing Chinese exchange student Long Duck Dong to the police as "wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... No, he's not retarded!"
C. Only B above matters
D. Note: must draft Eric Bedard

5. Donger Need Food

A. Simply inspired by Long Duck Dong from 4 above
B. Very loosely tied to baseball, as a "Donger" is not only a penis, but also a home run
C. I just remembered that Kevbo used The Dongs as a Football team name. Damn it.