Chivalry is on life support

Chivalry is probably almost dead, and if so, I certainly am not the guy attending to its dying needs. I mean, I open doors for ladies when I should, but almost never if the door is attached to a car.

Last week though after a Wednesday evening tennis game with the boys, we were walking out of the freezing tennis center, in the narrow walkway linking the courts to the front office, when unbeknownst to me a foursome of ladies were walking by us, getting ready to start their own game. I say "unbeknownst" not because it’s such a sweet word, but because I had absolutely no idea they were there. I was staring at the ground trying not to eat it on the several short sets of stairs throughout the walkway when the ladies apparently had to dive out of the way of our group as we bullied past them. One lady in fact loudly muttered over her breath "I guess chivalry really IS dead."

Even though it was unintentional I did feel like a dick. I guess 50% of chivalry probably is being aware of potentially non-chivalrous dick-traps. Even if you are a genuinely nice guy a majority of the time.

Oh, as an aside, I think playing tennis indoors while wearing a Northface fleece must really be a Seattle thing. I never did that in California for sure.

After the match (f-ers beat us 6-4, 6-2) we countered any nominal health benefit that 1:30 of doubles tennis will give you be hitting "taco Wednesday" at the Roanoak. 6 tacos, 3 beers, and 35 minutes later, I countered any nominal cerebral benefit talking to my friends for 35 minutes will give you by hitting "Beowulf in 3-D" at the AMC on 4th Avenue.

Great movie by the way if you are in to animated 3-D movies that look like one ginormous kick ass video game. I say that without owning an XBox or game cube, though I don't think many games would feature a 90% nude Angelina Jolee hot demon creature thing, and a hilarious speech dripping with genius sarcasm delivered deadpan by an animated John Malcovich. "Bravo Beowulf..." (clapping) "...Bra-vo."

OK, is it sketchy to find animated characters sexually attractive? It is, isn't it. If that's the case, I should probably be more concerned about my feelings toward Jessica Rabbit that spawned in the late 80's. Oh, and most of my high school "girlfriends".

By the way, an awesome visual movie Beowulf, but know what you're getting yourself in to. Much like Beerfest.

To bring it all back, I pulled another anti-chivalrous move about an hour ago when going through security at sea tac airport. Right ahead of me in line, a chick's bag was toppling over while she was undressing for the guards. I caught the bag, but her wallet spilled out, and stuff dumped everywhere. It felt like it would have been pretty invasive and sketchy to dive on the floor and go after her credit cards, money, and other items, so I just said something lame like, "um, your bag fell."

Wow, I think I really am a dick.