If you are feeling really well rested after this past Easter weekend, then you don't have a 2.5 year old. Overall, it was actually a very fun weekend, but this video pretty much sums up how I feel right now.
After three egg hunts I did come away wiser, as well as exhausted. I learned some things like don't EVER go to one of those public Easter egg hunts open to the general masses. Holy Christ on an egg. We went to the Seattle Woodland Park Zoo for their annual Easter egg hunt. Charlotte LOVES the Zoo, and it sounded pretty cool. Pet some bunnies, egg hunts, and arts and crafts... and hey, if we got bored, we could always go look at those poor bastard animals stuck in cages.
After three egg hunts I did come away wiser, as well as exhausted. I learned some things like don't EVER go to one of those public Easter egg hunts open to the general masses. Holy Christ on an egg. We went to the Seattle Woodland Park Zoo for their annual Easter egg hunt. Charlotte LOVES the Zoo, and it sounded pretty cool. Pet some bunnies, egg hunts, and arts and crafts... and hey, if we got bored, we could always go look at those poor bastard animals stuck in cages.
We drive up about 30 minutes before opening, along with hundreds of other families. I almost got in a fight with another dad who was actually cutting in line. CUTTING IN LINE AT THE FU#&ING Zoo?
"Dude, see that line?" (I point to the 500 or so people behind me)
Dude doesn't listen, and he tells the official Zoo Line Guy who could care less, "Hey, we are ZOO MEMBERS, and we are NOT happy about this line." I guess he figures his $40 a year membership fee bought him the right to be a prick to innocent Zoo Line Guys too.
"I am pretty sure we are ALL Zoo members, Dude." (I point to the 500 or so people behind me again). I was certain this was not a B.S.D. Zoo donor guy who had his name engraved on the carousel or anything, like he was implying through his air of entitlement. If you are cool or important enough to be above lines, you don't tend to get stuck in them, do you?
Dude looks at me, looks a the Zoo Line Guy, grimaces, puts head down, and continues to walk his family up to the next open admission window. "Good work honey," his lame yet supportive wife tells him.
At that point, I realize that this was Easter, I was with my kids, and this was supposed to be fun. I was not drunk, playing pool at the Savoy... I let it go. Later we saw the same dad trying to line up a picture of his kids, this was like a military mission for him "Suzy, you will STAND HERE. GUY you will SIT HERE, because you are too young to STAND. NOW SMILE!" I was sure that his kids and he were going to live out their next 18 years in misery, or sooner when the kids run away from home. This made me smile.
Inside the Zoo was no better than the lines outside. It was chaos. The toddlers were fenced in and fed plastic eggs by the garbage can full. The older kids hunted eggs in a HUGE arena set up like an equestrian ring, and did it to a CRANKED UP "Jock Jams" sound track. "ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?"
This one day, I think the lions look out of their cages and think "Fu#k, it looks dangerous out there. I hope these cages are secure."
Charlotte looks at the fenced in kids, and the patrolling giant duck, confused.
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