We Can't Roast The Beckbro

Or 90 thing’s I won’t mention at Dan’s Toast
(sung to the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel)
By Matthew H. Wood


Hamburgler, Royal Oak, Big Game, Admiral Toke
Lucky Penny, Dirty Harry, burried in the snow

Old Caddies, Ben Acosta, Foos Ball, Chip 'n salsa,
Mud fight, kahlua night, 1282 Vallejo

Mona Loa, Keg stand, he's talking with a homeless man
Shitter candle, New Orleans, Luggage rack Tacklings

Blue Light, Left fist fights, too many invites
Viking helmut, Kitty game, Ares has attacked again

We can't roast the Beck Bro
It's his wedding night
He might try to fight me
We can't roast the Beck Bro
Some things said are too rough
I'll just say the good stuff

West portal, hardwood shoes, waking neighbors, sushi groove
Dar Bar. Yukka Jar. handcuffed to the keg.

Casinos, Broken Nose, Vegas Corporation Woes
Breaking chairs, shotgun beers, Pres of Delta Sig

Beer Stein, Pete Dehn, Walter’s on a Bowling team
North Systems, Visaline, parties with Crab and Wine

City Tavern, Shaved Chest, Shanghai Kelly's, Eastside West
Big game arrest, what else can I roof test?

We can't roast the Beck Bro
It's his wedding night
He might try to fight me
We can't roast the Beck Bro
Some things said are too rough
I'll just say the good stuff

Triple rock, viking braids, pounding chili, Conclaves
4am Unreal Tourney, Bitter's got the day bed burning

Slosh Ball, Bowles Hall, California baseball
Another brawl, Sailors ball, UK Pub Crawl

Buddy system, Raleigh's, Brak's monkey, Henry's
Izzy Steaks, Tahoe Lakes, Do they card at Larry Blakes

Reverse Sneak, Broken chairs, Hell week, Bear's lair
Roomie Bente, Self Haze, San Clemente Mayor's Race

We can't roast the Beck Bro
It's his wedding night
He might try to fight me
We can't roast the Beck Bro
Some things said are too rough
I'll just say the good stuff

Palmfron-throwing early dawn, sparrow stories drawing yawns
Beer Pong, King Dong, Ares is in ECON

Spring Break, Rosarita, upsidedown margarita
SF Walkabouts, burning tree wont go out

Go Carts, Bingo pix, winter heat cabin wrecks
A BEST MAN SPEECH IN TWO WEEKS, or else Beck is gonna FREAK!