Up on the woof

I bought a pair of "Lucky" jeans about two weeks ago. They were expensive, like $125 bucks. WAY more than one should spend on jeans in my opinion. Now, several washings past the return policy, I have determined that they are much too big on me. The gangsta trow-drop look doesn't really go well with my Twinkie white person. (You know the phrase "Twinkie", right? White on the outside, even whiter on the inside?) I think though that I'm going to take the easy way out, and just grow my ass bigger. Maybe I'm just that cheap.

I have FINALLY seen the movie BEER FEST. Holy crap. If you have been known to enjoy beer, and maybe to do stupid things while enjoying your beer, or even if you just like drinking games, RUN DON'T WALK to your blockbuster / netflix account / movie channel and see this movie. It's exceptional. The only thing I didn't love about the movie was that I didn't write it myself. Be warned though, if you're not in the right mood for this kind of movie, you might find it exceptionally stupid... oh and I think chicks will HATE it. If you must watch with a chick, make sure they're drunk.

I love how e-mailing and text messaging from your phone can make you look like a completely illiterate tool. The combination of the tiny keyboards, hurried responses, and the "smart" word selection software can create sentences like the one I sent the other day to let my wife know our takeout Chinese had been delivered: "The food is heterogeneous". I think I will call this phenomenon "mobile retardation".

Sometimes working from a home-office / cave is just like working from a real office. Well, except the PJ's and poor hygiene part. Usually I work on my computer, and talk on the phone just like I would from the company HQ. And then there are days like today where my wife intercom's me and tells me to clean the gutters.

By the way, does anyone know why gutters reek so much? The crap I pulled out of there smelled like I had thrown the boy and the dog up on the roof and told them to have a poop-off, winner doesn't have to sleep in the crate tonight. Why the hell haven't I showered yet?

Thank you to loyal reader, we'll call him Reeegano, for the update on our favorite Lexus driving fish lover, Tuna 307. Well it looks like we have another great hunter who found an even BIGGER natural phenomenon and speared THAT animal through the head and weighed it. Sorry Tuna 307, meet TUNA 381! Yes world, we have a NEW RECORD SIZED DEAD TUNA! How does THAT feel? Tuna 381 makes Tuna 307 seem more like a "Tuna 233", if you ask me. Congrats to you both though for being my 2007 Co-Naturalists of the Year. I hope your two meet some day, and I hope that meeting is on the freeway with your two Lexuses going in opposite directions.